I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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