She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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