I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
