your thong is hanging out like whoa
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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