i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
