She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
