maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
