He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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