can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
