It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
