I queefed so loud it echoed.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
