she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
