i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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