Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
