I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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