what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
