Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
