Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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