Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
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