So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just invented taco cereal.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize