She is in my trunk
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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