I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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