One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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