i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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