i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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