What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
They took my balls.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
