I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
