it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize