i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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