never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
