That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
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