; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
So drunk its hurt
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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