Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
