Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
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The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
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I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
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