He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
