Me too!
In America we eat man semen.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
