the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
