how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
