that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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