evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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