The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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