My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
