she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
