It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
