Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
we're so committed to being not committed
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
