She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
