i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
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