Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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