CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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