i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
They are going to name an STD after you.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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