I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
bring money and cleavage
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
