Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
