I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
