All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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