I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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