Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
