after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
