Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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