i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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