i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
