I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
We named our party play list daddy issues
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
